Most people who enter helping professions want to help.
That sounds obvious.
But one of the things I appreciate about Motivational Interviewing is that it asks us to pay attention to what can happen because we want to help.
We hear a problem.
We recognize a possible solution.
And almost immediately we want to provide it.
MI now refers to this tendency as the fixing reflex.
I think most of us recognize it.
Someone says:
"I don't know what I'm going to do."
And our mind is already generating options.
Have you tried this?
Why don't you call them?
You should probably...
What if you...
There is nothing inherently wrong with having knowledge or ideas.
The question is how we use them.
Expertise can help without taking over
I do not believe person-centered practice requires professionals to pretend they do not know anything.
Our experience matters.
Our training matters.
Information matters.
Resources matter.
The issue is whether our expertise becomes something we offer or something we impose.
There is a meaningful difference between:
"Here's what you need to do."
and
"Would it be helpful if we looked at a few possibilities together?"
The information may be identical.
The relationship is different.
MI-4 places empowerment at the center
The fourth edition of Motivational Interviewing expanded the familiar MI spirit to emphasize empowerment alongside partnership, acceptance, and compassion.
I think that addition matters.
Helping is not only about whether we have a useful answer.
It is also about whether our way of helping strengthens someone's ability to make decisions, recognize strengths, use resources, and move forward.
Sometimes the most useful thing we can do is make room before offering an answer.
Try Ask, Offer, Ask
One MI tool I find very practical is Ask-Offer-Ask.
ASK
What does the person already know?
What have they considered?
What would they like help with?
OFFER
Ask permission and provide information, options, or a perspective.
"Would it be okay if I shared something that might be useful?"
Then keep the information manageable.
ASK AGAIN
What do they make of it?
Does any of it fit?
What seems realistic?
What would they like to do next?
That final question returns ownership of the decision to the person.
A simple pause before advice
Before offering a solution, I sometimes find it useful to ask myself:
Have I understood the problem from their perspective?
Have I asked what they already know?
Do they want information right now?
Am I offering a possibility or prescribing an answer?
What would help this person leave the conversation with more capacity, not less?
Those questions can change the tone of an interaction.
This applies beyond formal MI conversations
The fixing reflex is not limited to counseling.
It appears in supervision.
Peer support.
Parenting.
Leadership.
Friendship.
Recovery work.
Healthcare.
Any relationship where one person sees another person struggling.
Sometimes care sounds like:
"I know what you should do."
Sometimes it sounds like:
"What would be most helpful from me right now?"
Putting It Into Practice
Try this during one conversation this week.
When you notice yourself preparing to give advice:
Pause.
Ask one genuine question.
Listen.
Then ask permission before offering your perspective.
Afterward, reflect:
Did the conversation change?
Did the person identify something I would not have thought of?
Did they become more engaged?
Did I learn something by waiting?
This is not about withholding useful information.
It is about making sure our desire to help does not accidentally replace someone else's voice.
Sometimes helping means bringing an answer.
Sometimes helping means creating enough room for another person to discover theirs.
Sources & Further Reading
Motivational Interviewing Network of Trainers, What's New in MI-4
What's New in the 4th Edition of Motivational Interviewing - Montana Primary Care Association
SAMHSA, TIP 35: Enhancing Motivation for Change in Substance Use Disorder Treatment
SAMHSA TIP 35 Enhancing Motivation for Change in Substance Use Disorder Treatment
